Destination Disease

I’ve been in Africa for 157 days, just over five months. I’ve been living in Africa for five months. That’s longer than a football season. We’ve long since passed up halftime and are now deep into the third quarter with the end in sight, becoming clearer and clearer as the days wear on. Recently, I have found within myself a tendency to look forward to what is next rather than keeping my eyes focused on what God is doing in me and in Uganda TODAY. Not that looking forward is wrong, but focusing on that and ignoring what God is currently doing IS. I’ve found myself doing just that while trying to simply limp through the days until I arrive home in May. We refer to this as “destination disease.” It’s the idea that what I am doing currently is not as exciting as what I may be doing in the future, so I’m going to focus on that and just try to skate by until then. For me, two things are driving this.

First, now that we have been here for five months, the newness and novelty of being “a missionary in Africa” has completely worn off. There are very few times that I just stop and think to myself, “Wow! I’m in Africa right now telling people about Jesus! I can’t believe this is my life!” While those moments happened quite often earlier on, life in Africa has become normal now. It’s not a bad thing, but the emotions have certainly worn off. One of the things God has been teaching me through this is that emotions CAN’T carry the ministry. When I rely on emotions or how I feel to get me through the day, I won’t last long. Sure, that can sustain me for a while, but eventually I need to simply be sourced in God and His truths, not what I feel.

Second, I am unsure about the future. God hasn’t spoken many specifics about the next season of my life. Because of this, I’ve found myself worrying about the future. It’s uncertain, so I obsess over it. Jesus gives us a great way to combat this in Matthew 6:25-34. He tells us not to worry about the future because God already knows all of our needs and LOVES to provide for us. This is easy to agree with in my mind, but practically living it out is incredibly difficult. A few days ago while I was worrying about what I would do when I got home, God spoke to me. He reminded me how I took a leap of faith in trusting Him when I decided to move to Africa for eight months. That’s crazy. That takes faith. He then asked me why I was able to trust Him then, but it is so hard for me to trust Him to direct me when I go back home. Shouldn’t that take even less faith? That hit me pretty hard. I trusted Him enough to direct and provide for me in Africa but not back home? This new perspective has certainly helped me stay focused on the present.

I only noticed a few weeks ago that I had caught Destination Disease already. While it is definitely responsible to plan for the future, there is danger in obsessing over it. Since then, I have been developing a new perspective. I’ve been here for 157 days. I have 87 days left. Until then, rather than limp through the days focusing on the future, I want to make the most of every single day I have left. I have 87 days. That’s 87 days in Africa, away from so many distractions and temptations that I face daily in the States. That’s 87 days spent in the most intentional community that I have ever been a part of, where everyone is interested in seeing each other grow as much as possible. I will never be in this same situation again and I don’t want to waste the time I’ve been graciously given by worrying and obsessing over the future. I want every one of these last 87 days to matter.

-Jon

Pure Worship

Last week, we took our second short trip to the towns of Arua, Kitgum and Lira. God did amazing things in Lira last month and I couldn’t wait to get back there. Little did I know that any expectation I had would be immensely surpassed by Monday night.

We got to Lira on a Sunday afternoon. The game plan was to meet with the people we had found last month, connect with them and put together a worship night for Monday. One of the men I really wanted to see that first day was Ken. This is a man we found in Lira who already had a legitimate relationship with Jesus. In fact, he said he had been called into ministry and wanted to start small groups and disciple people. He essentially wanted to do exactly what we were doing. Needless to say, I was excited to see him again. I called him, but he didn’t answer. After a few more unanswered phone calls and stops by the places our friends were normally to be found, it became apparent that the day would not be going according to plan.

Days like this aren’t uncommon in Uganda, so we were familiar with plan b. Having no other direction, we set out to pray for and share Jesus with people on the streets.

After a fruitless hour or so, I pulled out my phone and said something to the effect of, “God, I just want Ken to call me right… now!” Seconds later, I hear my name being called. Looking around I eventually see Ken standing on the second story of a building right across the street. Talk about answered prayer!

I found out that he was renting out this floor to start a restaurant. It wasn’t quite finished yet but he had a great vision to use this place for ministry. It was amazing to hear. I then informed him of the worship night and he was thrilled to offer this place as the venue to worship in. Again, crazy answered prayer. We previously  had no clue where to find a venue.

As if that were not enough, Monday night we put the whole thing in Ken’s hands. We gave him vision that this was to be a worship and prayer only night (no preaching or teaching) and then we let him go with it. He brought in two other Ugandans; one to play guitar and one to lead the worship. Before the night began, I was nervous. None of us had any idea what was to happen. Would Ken know what to do? Would he break out into a sermon? Would all the Ugandans we invited know the songs? Would they understand what worship is? Would this end up being nothing more than a sing-along? With all of this racing through my head I realized that we were not in control at all. We placed EVERYTHING in God’s hands. And He came through.

Though there was crazy nervousness as the night began, it didn’t last long. Once they broke out in song, the presence of God was so near. Before long, I found myself looking around in utter amazement. I remember being dumbfounded at the idea that I was currently in the midst of a fully Ugandan led worship service where true, pure and passionate worship was being offered up to our Lord and Savior. Being in that room on that night is something I will never forget. I am so ridiculously blessed to have been a part of that.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

-Jon Crawford

Bigger Plans and Fish Markets

I can’t help but be amazed at the ridiculous way that God orchestrates all sorts of events, circumstances, etc. in just the right way to accomplish His purpose. I could probably fill a book with the story of God’s providence that brought me to Uganda. No, really, I could. It started back in 2006. Crazy? I know, but that is a story for another time.

Every time I think I actually have a plan laid out, God comes along and says, “Actually, that’s not the plan I have for you. We are going to go over here and do this instead, ok?” Just such an event occurred yesterday. It taught me again just how much bigger God’s plans are than mine.

Yesterday, I was planning on hitting the streets with another team member after lunch. After a few minutes of waiting, the call came…

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go with you today.”

He suggested a few other teem members that I could meet up with. I did. The plan changed… so I thought…

There was a Ugandan with us named Richard. Wanting to teach him that he too can show people the love of God through prayer and the gospel, we let him lead us. We walked for a few minutes before Richard told us he thought he knew which direction we should go. Taking that as God’s leading, we eagerly went, expecting something crazy to happen. Richard took us right to the area of the market with all of the fish….

I do not like fish. They look disgusting, they taste terrible (in my opinion) and the smell is just short of unbearable. While we were standing there, I turned to my teammate Tyler and said, “There is literally no other reason I would be here right now.” It was true, but God had a plan.

We started praying for people and eventually came to this lady named Christine. Tyler and I asked how we could pray for her. She mentioned that she had some sort of sickness, so I started there. It was hard to understand what exactly the sickness was or if God touched her in any way, but she was thankful. Then, I asked what her heart needed from God. When we ask what we can pray for, usually we get something to the effect of, “money.” We want to get deeper. We want to see what they really need from God right now. Usually, there really is something other than money that they are craving from God.

Tyler took over here, praying for God’s peace and love to come and touch her in that moment. After praying, she said she felt something that she could not describe. Wanting to know how exactly God was working, we called Richard over to translate a little better.

“SHE SAID SHE FEELS NEW LIFE”

What! She feels new life coming?! This was amazing!

Tyler urged Richard to tell her about Jesus – that He brings new life. She said she wanted that.

I got to watch as Richard, a native Ugandan, led another Ugandan to Jesus. That is a moment I will never forget. I traveled about 38 hours to see Ugandans leading Ugandans to Jesus. It was incredible. I got to experience it. I got to be a part of it. All because the day did not go according to MY plan.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,” – Ephesians 3:20

His plans are so much bigger than I think. I’m so glad my plan for yesterday did not work out perfecty.

-Jon